Walking Away
by Virtual Sweetie
Summary: A bitter Tristan returns to Hartford, and wants nothing to do with Rory... Only she isn't going to give up so easily...
1. Goodbye to You

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Pairing - Tristan and Rory...

Disclaimer - I wish I owned them, but unfortunately I don't. They belong to Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions and Hofflund/Polone in association with Warner Bros. Television. I'm merely borrowing them. Although I would love to steal Tristan away...

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Feedback - Please!

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A/N - I wrote this short fic quite awhile ago... Even before _Run Away, Little Boy_ aired. It was meant to be a prequel to another fic, but I decided just to make it the first chapter. I've got a bad case of writer's block on my other stories, and the only other alternative I felt was to (re)start a story.

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Chapter 1 - Goodbye to You

Tristan smiled. There he stood in the middle of a chaotic Chilton hallway, with the girl of his dreams. She gazed lovingly in his eyes, silently urging him to kiss her. It was a picture perfect moment.

Tristan began to lean down, his eyes sweeping over her beautiful lips. He wanted nothing but to feel them on his. Before he could plant a kiss on her, her lips began moving. She whispered something, that he didn't quite catch. He leaned down, as she whispered in his ear.

"Tristan? I hate him. I love Dean."

Tristan was taken aback. He pulled away, and the eyes that were once full of warmth, now gave him an icy blue stare.

"Rory..." he whispered. He looked down at their hands, which were entwined. She began to pull away, and disappear into the crowd of faceless students. Tristan looked around desperately, wondering where she could possibly be. He walked around, searching every place in the hallway imaginable, until his eyes settled upon her long, shiny brown hair. He wanted to call out to her, but he couldn't find his voice. Tristan fought against the crowd that was rushing against him, and tried to reach Rory. Only by the time he made it there, she wasn't alone. The girl of his dreams was now engaged in a heated lip lock with the bag boy. Tristan stared in disbelief, wondering how everything could have possibly changed in that one instance. As if it was an eternity later, Rory pulled away from Dean, and gave Tristan a smirk. 

"I love Dean..."

Tristan woke up from his nightmare in a cold sweat. It took him a minute to catch his breath. This was the same nightmare he'd been having for almost two months now, ever since he heard Rory utter those fateful words. He lay back down on his bed, and stared up at the ceiling. 

Tomorrow was the first day of school at Chilton, something he'd been dreading for. After all, it would mark the first time he'd see Rory since the last day of school, and the PJ Harvey debacle. He thought back to the night of the Chilton party, the night he and Rory finally kissed. It was something he'd never forget in his whole life. It was the moment when he realized that he was in love with Rory Gilmore.

When she had first started going to Chilton, he immediately noticed her beauty. There was something different about her than all the other debutante girls at Chilton. She just seemed so innocent, so pure. She had been nothing but a mere challenge for him, until that kiss. He hadn't realized how much he wanted to kiss her until they sat side by side at the piano, talking about their recent break-ups.

The kiss meant everything to him. And it meant nothing to Rory. She was clueless about his feelings for her, even after the whole dating Paris disaster. But Tristan still had feelings for her that he wasn't able to comprehend. And he was intent on making he feelings clear for her, until the day when all his hopes were dashed. She didn't even cast a second look at him once Dean came for her. And he hadn't seen her since... until tomorrow.

"I can't do this," Tristan whispered into the darkness.

***

Rory sighed as she walked up the steps to Chilton. Normally she'd be looking forward to the first day of school, but she knew that this year would be hell. Paris hated her, and Tristan... well, Rory just knew that he'd probably make her miserable this year too.

She walked down the familiar hallway to her locker. Her eyes were fixated at her locker, where she saw an envelope taped to it. The envelope simply stated "Rory" in handwriting. She opened it, only to find a letter.

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Rory...

This is probably the last thing you're expecting to see, but it has to be done. It's 3:12 AM, and here I am writing you a letter. I don't know why, but I guess I just need to get some things off my chest before I leave for some boarding school in Switzerland.

When you first started at Chilton, I thought you were hot. And I guess that's why I started acting like a jerk to you, but all that's in the past. The day Dean came... that was supposed to be the day of our first date. God, I actually planned everything out. We'd go out to dinner, then to the PJ Harvey concert, then maybe for a drive around Hartford. We'd have such a great time that you'd want to do it again. And again, and again, and... well, you get the idea. But things didn't exactly turn out that way, did they? You saw Dean, and everything just suddenly changed. You told him you hated me, and I walked away.

God knows I tried to get over you this summer. I went after girl after girl, but it wasn't the same. None of them made me feel anything the way you do. You made me care about things. You made me feel happy, you made me feel love, and most importantly, you made me feel pain. We could've had something special Rory, if you gave us a chance. You stuck to the road well taken, just because you were just so damn scared to take the road less traveled. I don't know what could have happened if we took that road, but I just know that I wouldn't be feeling like crap right now if we did.

So congrats. You succeeded. I'm finally walking away from you, and everything that reminds me of you.

I hope you have a great life. I know I will once I get away from you...

- Tristan DuGrey

Rory re-read the last line. She was still in shock over the words she read, and the fact that he was gone from her life. She knew she should feel relieved, or even happy, but that wasn't the case. She felt nothing but emptiness in her heart, and sadness. She didn't know when she would see him again, or if he'd want to see her again.

A tear slowly rolled down Rory's cheek, as she realized that maybe everything she ever felt for Tristan wasn't hatred. Maybe she did have some feelings for him, deep inside her heart. And now he was gone.

***

Tristan took one last look out the window, before pulling down the shutters. He glanced down at his watch. 8:30 AM. By now classes at Chilton were starting, so he knew that by now Rory would have read his letter. He knew he might have been too harsh on Rory in his letter, but he didn't know what else to say. She broke his heart, and it was time that she realized the full extent of his feelings for her.

"Goodbye Hartford. Goodbye Chilton," he said softly. A lump rose in his throat before he uttered his last words before the plane took off to Switzerland. 

"Goodbye Rory," he whispered.


	2. Try Again

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Pairing - Tristan and Rory...

Disclaimer - I wish I owned them, but unfortunately I don't. They belong to Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions and Hofflund/Polone in association with Warner Bros. Television. I'm merely borrowing them. Although I would love to steal Tristan away...

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Feedback - First off, thanks for all the reviews of the first chapter! I think it's the most I've ever gotten for a single chapter. Anyways, please review the new chapter. Reviews make me happy, which makes me write faster... *hint hint*

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A/N - Pretty much discount everything that happened in season 2. Except for Jess. He'll be making some appearances a little later on.

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Chapter 2 - Try Again

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Tristan lay back in the white cotton sheets of an all too familiar bed, staring up at the ceiling. His room was almost perfectly intact from almost a year ago, still the cold, desolate place he left. There were few personal items in his room - a few CDs strewn across his lavish cherry desk, some magazines lying on the floor, and a couple of framed family photos. One of which was of Tristan and his grandfather, who had just passed away a couple of days ago.

Today was the funeral. Tristan wasn't particularly close to his grandfather, much less the rest of his family. After learning the news that Janlen DuGrey had passed on, his father had insisted that Tristan come back to Hartford - permanently.

"Family business, son," Woodrow DuGrey said gruffly, once Tristan had stepped out of the limo and back into the DuGrey mansion. "We need to turn to each other at the time of this loss."

What a bunch of bullshit. The DuGreys weren't known to talk about the feelings or give hugs. They all led their own separate lives. Tristan hadn't even seen his siblings in over three years. He had planned on boarding a plane back to Switzerland once the funeral was over, until he learned that his father had him pulled out of his school there, and enrolled again at Chilton Preparatory Academy.

"We must show a united front," his father insisted. "We must stand united in Hartford. We cannot make ourselves susceptible to any business takeovers..."

And Tristan learned the real reason he was brought back to Hartford. Greedy business men who don't care about their colleagues' deaths. His staying in Hartford would just be an act to show the business world that the DuGrey business was still going strong. Death wasn't going to deter them. With Woodrow DuGrey at the helm, and his family supporting him, the DuGreys would overcome the latest obstacle.

Tristan hated to think of his grandfather's death as an obstacle. He was a real person. Someone who talked, someone who moved, someone who felt. And unlike Woodrow DuGrey, Janlen DuGrey had real feelings for his family. Despite the fact that Tristan wasn't particularly close to Janlen DuGrey, Tristan had to admit that his grandfather was the only thing in the DuGrey clan that seemed to scream 'family'.

And so he was back in his room in Hartford, back at the private hell he made for himself. Tristan didn't want to be there. And he especially didn't want to see her.

***

Rory looked around, feeling lost. She was standing in the middle of the den in the DuGrey mansion, surrounded by members of Hartford's elitist class, as they chatted about their memories of what a fine man Janlen DuGrey was.

It wasn't her choice to be here. Rory had been staying at her grandparents' house for the week, after Lorelai had left for a business seminar in Chicago. Since the new school year at Chilton began the next day, Rory decided she'd be better off staying in Hartford. Emily had asked Rory to accompany herself and Richard to the wake at the DuGrey mansion, since Rory's "good friend" Tristan would be there. Rory reluctantly agreed to appease her grandmother, but right now this was the last place she wanted to be.

She hadn't seen Tristan yet. And she doubted that he'd want to see her anyway.

_I hope you have a great life. I know I will once I get away from you..._

She remembered his last line. The one that pretty much summed up everything there was to say. He hated her. And she might have liked him.

Rory glanced over at her grandparents, who were in a deep discussion with one of Richard's colleagues. She slowly made her way out of the den, and began walking through the hollow halls. She stopped in front of a door, which she guessed to be the library.

Rory looked around her to make sure no one saw her, and slowly opened the door. Books. Her place of comfort, especially when she needed to be alone like right now.

"You're not supposed to be in here," a male voice startled Rory. Her eyes followed the direction of the voice, where she found herself staring at the back of an oversized armchair. She couldn't see his face, but Rory had recognized the voice immediately.

"Tristan?" she called out softly.

***

His body tensed when he heard her voice. He'd recognize it anywhere.

Mary. Rory. Whatever she wanted to be called.

Tristan forced himself to get up from the armchair, and face her. Despite the turmoil of emotions going through him at the moment, he was aware that she looked as beautiful as ever. She was looking back at him, her face the epitome of innocence. Her bright blue eyes widened in surprise, and her mouth opened in a small 'o'.

"So I guess all the rumors are true," she said, suddenly finding her voice. "You are back in Hartford."

"Not by choice," Tristan sneered. The tone of his voice came out harsher than he had intended, and he watched as Rory flinched at the sound of his voice. She was looking back at him now, her brow furrowing, not really knowing how to respond. So instead, she stayed silent.

"So Mary, where's the little lamb?" Tristan asked, as he tried to fill the awkward silence that had begun to plague them both. Rory shot him a quizzical look. "Dean," Tristan clarified with a smirk. "You know, your sheep boy that follows you around like a desperate little puppy dog."

"We broke up. A few months ago," Rory replied.

"Oh really? What a shame," Tristan said sarcastically. "Because as I recall, the last time I saw you, you were clinging to his lips for dear life, telling him about how much you hated me," he said bitterly. Rory's eyes dropped down, as she stared at the floor in shame.

"I didn't mean it," she said softly. "I just didn't want to fight with Dean anymore." She looked back up, her eyes pleading for forgiveness. "And besides, you were being pretty jerky that day," she added hastily. Her eyes were met with Tristan's cold, hard, steely gaze.

"Funny how you say the things you don't mean," he said, his voice just as cold as his gaze. "I always pegged you as a stickler for the truth."

"Why are you being such an asshole today?" Rory asked, narrowing her eyes. The Tristan she knew was jerky pretty much all the time, but this Tristan was over the top. Tristan shrugged.

"Maybe I'm just letting you know how I feel," he replied. "Something I should have done a long, long time ago."

"Look, I didn't know how you really felt before," Rory blurted out. "Not until I read the letter..." her voice trailed off slowly, as she looked at Tristan expectantly. "Did you really mean everything you said in it?" she asked him, in a quiet voice.

Tristan's mouth was dry. He wasn't prepared to see Rory today. He thought he'd have time to ready himself for a spiteful confrontation. Not this.

"Every word," he whispered. He watched as Rory's mouth slightly dropped open, as she thought of her next words.

"You said I was too scared to take the road less traveled," she stated, her voice starting to gain more confidence as she spoke. "And in all honesty, I was. But not anymore. Tristan, if we could start over..." Rory was interrupted by the sound of the door opening. Rory whipped around, to find a gorgeous brunette standing there. She looked at her expectantly, but the brunette's eyes were focused on Tristan.

"I can't believe you came," Tristan said, his mouth beginning to form a smile.

"Of course I came," the brunette said. She walked over to Tristan and gave him a quick hug and peck on the lips. Tristan's arm lingered on her shoulder, when the brunette finally realized that they weren't alone. "Where's your manners? Aren't you going to introduce us?" she asked Tristan.

"I guess," Tristan said, taking a deep breath. "Evelyn, this is Rory. Rory this is Evelyn... My girlfriend."

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Ah yes, I'm evil. I gave Tristan a girlfriend, just when Rory wanted to start over. But alas, there's still more to the story...


	3. Girlfriend

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Pairing - Tristan and Rory...

Disclaimer - I wish I owned them, but unfortunately I don't. They belong to Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions and Hofflund/Polone in association with Warner Bros. Television. I'm merely borrowing them. Although I would love to steal Tristan away...

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Feedback - Purty, purty please? With sugar on top?

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A/N - Sorry for the shortness of the chapter, but the next one will probably be longer.

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Chapter 3 - Girlfriend

_Girlfriend_.

The word sent chills down Rory's spine. Since when did Tristan have girlfriends? Well always, but never the steady type. And Evelyn definitely looked like the steady type.

_Girlfriend._

No. This couldn't be happening. Not when she was finally ready to admit the possibility that she had feelings for Tristan.

_Girlfriend._

Rory snapped out of her shell shocked state when she realized the room was silent, and Evelyn was staring expectantly at her.

"N-nice to meet you," Rory stammered. She shot a glance towards Tristan, who was trying his best to avoid her gaze.

"You too," Evelyn said, smiling warmly. "It's always great to meet Tristan's old friends." 

Rory opened her mouth to say something more, but couldn't find her voice. Instead, she twisted her mouth into a forced smile, as an awkward silence plagued the room.

"Did I interrupt something important?" Evelyn asked, when she began to notice how quiet Tristan was. Rory locked eyes with Tristan, who was finally able to look her in the eye. His blue eyes were void of emotion, as if they were soulless.

Rory was about to excuse herself from the room, when was interrupted by the library door opening. She turned to find Mr. DuGrey glaring furiously from the doorway.

"Tristan, may I have a word with you?" his voice full of authority. Tristan shot a helpless glance at Evelyn before following his father out the door.

"Yes sir," he mumbled before exiting the library, leaving Rory and Evelyn alone.

There was an awkward silence after the DuGreys left. Rory shot a curious glance at Evelyn. She seemed like the type of girl Tristan would go for - beautiful. She had long, wavy brown hair, and deep hazel eyes. Rory took a deep breath.

"So how long have you two been dating?" she asked. Even though she was still in shock, she just had to know how this all came about.

"Almost six months," Evelyn said with a wistful smile. "I fell for him the first day I saw him at our boarding school in Switzerland," she confessed. "But it took him awhile to come around. Said that some girl messed him up... Say, you wouldn't happen to know who that girl is, would you?" Evelyn asked.

"No, sorry," Rory lied, knowing full well who the girl was. "Tristan and I weren't exactly the best of friends, especially when I first started out at Chilton," she explained. Evelyn nodded.

"Yeah, it takes awhile to get to know the real Tristan," she said. "He might come off as arrogant and a jerk at first, but after awhile, you come to realize what a sweet, caring guy he is... A real catch."

"A real catch," Rory whispered, a small lump forming at her throat.

***

Tristan followed his father silently, until they reached his study. He motioned for Tristan to sit, while he lit a cigar.

"Did you just order me out to talk, or did you just want to pass on the pleasure of secondhand smoke?" Tristan asked, his voice full of sarcasm, after a minute of his father's silence. He looked over at Woodrow DuGrey, who was busy staring outside a window.

"What the hell is Miss Summers doing here?" he finally said, his voice full of anger. He turned around, and his face reflected the amount of anger in his voice.

"You mean _Evelyn_," Tristan said. "She's my girlfriend. And that entitles her to respect around here."

"The hell it does," Mr. DuGrey said, slamming his fist down on the fine, mahogany desk. "I will not tolerate you dating a Summers. That family has been trying to takeover our business for many years, way before your grandfather's death. And now that my dear old dad, God rest his soul, has passed on, they will be relentless. Any ammunition against us will destroy us. And you're giving them just the ammunition they need." Tristan rolled his eyes.

"Melodramatic enough, father?" he asked, shaking his head. "What Evelyn and I do is our own business, and it doesn't concern you."

"That girl will ruin our family," Woodrow's voice boomed. "And I absolutely forbid you to date her." Tristan stood up from his seat in anger.

"You can't forbid me to date her!" he shouted.

"I just did," Woodrow DuGrey said, his mouth forming a smirk. "You defy my orders, and you will find yourself cut off. No money, no car, no nothing." Tristan sat down in frustration, knowing that his father had him. As much as he loved Evelyn, he knew he wouldn't be able to survive a day without his father's bank account.

"And just who do you think it's acceptable to date?" he asked bitterly. Mr. DuGrey's eyebrow furrowed, as he thought of the possibilites for his son.

"That Gilmore girl for one," he concluded. "Top three percentile at Chilton, she's got the looks, and more importantly, she comes from a respectable family." Tristan's head snapped up, as he looked his father in the eye.

"You want me to date Rory?" he asked incredulously.

"Do you see any problems with her?" Mr. DuGrey countered. "She could do you a lot of good, son." Tristan sat back in his chair, anger washing over him. This had to be some sort of nightmare. Having to break up with the girl he loved, to date the girl he despised. Unless...

"Fine," Tristan agreed. "I'll start dating Rory." Relief came over Woodrow DuGrey's face.

"You'll see that it's only in your best interest," Mr. DuGrey said.

"You mean yours," Tristan mumbled, as he stood up to leave. He had find Rory.


	4. I Believe in You

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Pairing - Tristan and Rory...

Disclaimer - I wish I owned them, but unfortunately I don't. They belong to Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions and Hofflund/Polone in association with Warner Bros. Television. I'm merely borrowing them. Although I would love to steal Tristan away...

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Feedback - Weird... I've been getting exactly 16 reviews for every chapter... C'mon, give me 17 for this one! *hehe*

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A/N - Wow, I actually finished this chapter quicker than I thought. You could attribute it to the pile of snow outside, which makes it virtually impossible to go anywhere.

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Chapter Four - I Believe in You

He found her still in the library. She was standing beside the fireplace, a glass of brandy in her hand. Her eyes were focused on the fire, watching it crackle. She didn't even notice that he was watching her, until he cleared his throat. She looked up with a start.

"Evelyn already left," Rory said, her voice quiet. Her eyes turned downwards again, focusing on the fire. He took a closer look at her. She seemed saddened, and Tristan knew why. He almost didn't want to go through with his plan, but then again, he didn't know what else he could do.

"Actually I was looking for you," he replied. He watched as Rory looked up curiously. "I need a favor." She let out a short, bitter laugh.

"Of course. Only Tristan DuGrey would be a complete asshole one second, then ask for a favor the next," she said sarcastically, as she took a swig of the brandy. Tristan walked over to her, and took the glass away from her.

"How much have you drank?" he asked, as Rory attempted to grab the glass back.

"Does it matter?" she challenged.

"This isn't you," Tristan said, as he dumped the remainder of the glass into the fire, which roared to life. Rory watched the flames crackle loudly, before she focused on Tristan again.

"So what's this favor you need?" she asked, with a sigh.

Tristan hesitated. _Don't do it_, a small voice in the back of his head told him. _It's only going to hurt her_. He was shocked at this admission. He didn't realize that after everything, hurting her was still the last thing he wanted to do.

"Never mind," Tristan quickly said. "It's nothing." He never realized that after all this time, he stopped being angry at her. Tristan turned around to leave the library, when he heard her voice.

"Tristan."

He stopped walking, and forced himself to face her again.

"Just tell me," she said, her voice softening up.

He was weak. He was never able to refuse any of her requests. Well, except for her 'no' to PJ Harvey, but that was a different story. Tristan sighed.

"My father hates Evelyn," he said. Rory shot him a quizzical look. "He hates her family," he explained.

"So how does that concern me? You said you needed a favor..." Rory asked, still confused.

"He likes _your_ family," Tristan replied. "And guess who he wants me to start dating?" he said, his voice trailing off as Rory began to piece things together.

"Oh," she said, a small frown forming on her face. Her eyes dropped down, as they began to focus on the finely woven rug.

"Yeah, oh," Tristan agreed. They were both silent for a moment, before Tristan spoke again. "It was just a stupid idea... I never would've expected you to want to be my girlfriend, much less my pretend girlfriend."

"You never know," Rory silently murmured under her breath.

"It was just a stupid idea," Tristan repeated. "The way things are between us... It'd just complicate things." Rory nodded. "So yeah, don't worry about it. I'll figure something else out," he said, as he turned around again, on his way to the door.

***

_Don't let him walk away_, the voice in Rory's mind shouted at her, as she watched Tristan's retreating back. _If he walks out, he might as well be walking out of your life for good._ He was two steps away from the door. Rory knew that if walked out, she might never get the opportunity to be close to him again.

_You stuck to the road well taken, just because you were just so damn scared to take the road less traveled._

She knew that pretending to be Tristan's girlfriend would hurt her. She knew that she was gambling with her heart. But she couldn't let go of him so easily. It was time to take the road less traveled.Rory closed her eyes tightly, and uttered the words she was dreading to say.

"I'll do it."

Tristan whipped around, surprised.

"You're kidding, right?" he asked.

"No," Rory said slowly. "I'll do it."

"And you're sure it's not the alcohol talking?" he asked, with a skeptical look.

"Well maybe a little bit," Rory admitted. "But I'll still do it."

She watched as Tristan's face lit up with a smile. His smile faded slightly when he noticed the subdued expression on his face, but he couldn't mask his gratitude.

"Thank you," he said quietly, before leaving the library.

"You're welcome," Rory said, her voice echoing in the empty room.

She knew her motives weren't pure. But she knew that it was also time to fight for what she wanted.

***

"I'm sorry."

Tristan didn't know what else to say. Here he was, telling his girlfriend that he loved, that he had to pretend to be dating another girl - one that he used to be in love with before - because his father hated the said girlfriend. It was a sticky situation. But as Tristan watched Evelyn closely, he began to realize that she didn't look mad at all. Instead, she looked relieved.

"You don't have to be," she said softy.

The two were lying back in Tristan's bed, his arms wrapped around her. These were the moments Tristan cherished. The ones where they could just be alone, doing nothing at all, and just enjoying the feel of being close to one another. It was the only time when Tristan truly felt loved.

"If it wasn't for my father, then I wouldn't have to do this," he said frustrated. "I hate that we can't be like this all the time."

"I do too," Evelyn said soothingly, as she broke out of Tristan's warm embrace so that she could face him. "But it's our only option. My father would kill me if he found out I was dating you," she admitted. "Or worse yet, he'd pressure me into using you for corporate espionage purposes."

They were both silent, as they contemplated how their relationship was going to change over the next few weeks.

"But you do trust me, right?" Tristan asked softly. He looked into Evelyn's hazel eyes, wondering if she had any doubts in her mind.

"Is there any reason I shouldn't?" she asked, as she leaned over to place a soft kiss on Tristan's cheeks. She re-positioned herself so that she was back into his arms, feeling the faint beat of his heart on her back.

Tristan hesitated slightly. Ever since he came to the realization that his feelings for Rory changed, he'd been wondering that himself. He loved Evelyn with all his heart, but he knew that there was always going to be a part of him that would feel something for Rory. She was the first girl he loved, and she'll always have that place in his heart. And now that they were going to go through with this plan... Pretending that they were boyfriend/girlfriend... In such close proximities... He snapped out of his daydreaming stupor.

"No reason at all," he whispered, wishing that he had as much faith in himself that Evelyn did.


	5. If You Could Love Me Like You Love Her

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Pairing - Tristan and Rory...

Disclaimer - I wish I owned them, but unfortunately I don't. They belong to Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions and Hofflund/Polone in association with Warner Bros. Television. I'm merely borrowing them. Although I would love to steal Tristan away...

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Feedback - Please?

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A/N - Um... Finally? So, so sorry about the long gap between updates. Things just kinda got crazy there with graduation, diplomas, work, friends, problems, vacation and most of all, university... I think that's about it. But yeah... As a result, I just had no inspiration to write, much less any time to write.

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Chapter Five - If You Could Love Me... Like You Love Her

"Are you sure you want to go through with this?" Tristan asked Rory for the umpteenth time that morning.

It was the next day, the first day of school at Chilton. That morning, Tristan had reluctantly gotten up and put on the familiar blue blazer, never fully realizing how much this little plan of theirs had really affected him.

He got no sleep that previous night. He lay awake, staring up at the dark ceiling, the thoughts in his mind all jumbled up. As sunlight slowly began to trickle into his room, he realized that he spent the whole night thinking of both Evelyn and Rory, and how much he cared for both of them. He knew either way, one of them would end up hurt, and he couldn't bear to be the cause of that.

And now he wanted a way out.

"I'm okay with it, really," Rory reassured him again. But the truth was she didn't want to go through with their plan anymore.

She had spent the whole night lying in bed, thinking about what she had gotten herself into. The more she thought about, the more she realized she was fighting for a lost cause. Tristan didn't want anything to do with Rory. The only reason they were sitting together in this car was to appease his father. If it weren't for Mr. DuGrey, Tristan wouldn't be anywhere near Rory.

She sighed as she stared out the window of Tristan's Jaguar. He had picked her up from her grandparent's house that morning, and he had seemed somewhat sullen. She didn't push him to reveal why he was feeling like that, but she was pretty sure it was because he was stuck with her.

As they approached the familiar sight of Chilton, Rory began to grow nervous. She was never a good liar. Would people see through this facade?

They had decided that they needed to look as authentic as possible, meaning they couldn't just pretend to be dating in front of his father, but in front of everyone else as well. It wouldn't seem too convincing if they ignored each other at school, Tristan had reasoned.

Tristan slowly maneuvered the Jaguar into a parking stall, and killed the engine. As Rory began to unbuckle her seatbelt, she was surprised when Tristan stopped her by grabbing her hand.

"Are you sure you're ready for this?" he asked, a look of uncertainty in his eyes.

Rory bit her lip, and tried to look him straight in the eye.

"I'm sure," she said. He slowly pulled his hand away, and they both got out of the car. She could already hear the murmurs of other students as they passed by.

"Wow, is that Tristan DuGrey I see?"

"He's still looking good..."

"Who's that girl he's with? A girlfriend?"

"Nah. She doesn't really look like his type."

Rory looked down at herself, self-consciously. She was wearing the same thing as all the other girls in Chilton. Her hair was pulled back in a simple ponytail, and she was wearing minimal make-up. But the way that passerby said that last comment... It almost made sense to Rory.

_We're from two different worlds_, Rory thought to herself. _It wouldn't have worked out anyways_, she thought, a lump in her throat forming as she tried to ignore the thoughts in her mind. _But it could have..._

***

It was only lunchtime, yet Rory felt more exhausted now than she had ever been in her entire life. She couldn't escape them. Everywhere she went in the school was a semi-familiar face looking to get the dirt on her and Tristan's relationship.

Most people seemed to believe that they were a couple, but even more people seemed to believe that Rory was giving it up to him. From the evil glares she got from the girls to the leering stares she got from the boys, she didn't know how much she could take.

She needed to get some air, to get away from everyone. So instead of a suffering through lunch in the cafeteria, Rory decided that the only way she could relax was by reading in the courtyard. And it just so happened that today she had Orlando by Virginia Woolfe. She just reached the door that led to the courtyard, when she heard footsteps approach her.

"You know call me crazy, but for a second there, I actually thought we were friends," a cold voice said from behind Rory. She whipped around to find Paris, who was glaring angrily at her.

"Paris, what are you talking about? We are friends," Rory replied, looking a little confused.

"So then you just conviniently forgot to tell me that you and Tristan were dating?" Paris spat out, her eyes narrowed. "Was that the friendly thing to do?"

"Paris, I... " Rory began.

"You know what? Save it," Paris interrupted. "Look, I know I may be overreacting. But other than grades, Tristan was the only thing that kept us from becoming friends in the past. I thought I was over it, but Rory, you lied. You said you had no romantic feelings for Tristan and now all of a sudden you're dating him?" she asked incredulously.

"I didn't mean for you to find out this way," Rory replied, trying to calm down Paris' tirade. "I meant to tell you, I really did, but then..." she drifted off, as she tried to think of a plausible excuse. "It's complicated," she mumbled.

"What's complicated? You're the Queen of Chilton now. All the guys want you, all the girls want to be you. And all because you're dating Tristan DuGrey. So tell me Rory, how does it feel?" Paris asked, her voice wavering.

Rory stood silent for a moment, taking a good long look at Paris. She realized that this is what Paris had always wanted - to be the envy of the school. Sure, Paris was known to everyone at Chilton, but for all the wrong reasons. They feared her; they were scared to get in her way. And now Rory was living out her dream - dating Tristan, becoming the so-called Queen of Chilton.

Paris glanced over Rory's shoulder and gave her a tight smile.

"Save whatever you were planning on saying. Your King's waiting for you," she said bitterly. Before Rory could say anything, Paris turned on her heel and stomped away towards the cafeteria.

Rory leaned back against a nearby locker.

"Remind me again why I'm doing you this favor?" she moaned out loud, as Tristan leaned on a locker beside her.

"You were slightly drunk," he pointed out.

"Duly noted," Rory replied, as she closed her eyes.

"You know she was right about one thing," Tristan said. Rory opened one eye curiously, and saw Tristan leaning slightly over her. "You are the new Queen of Chilton. And there are certain expectations."

"As in...?" Rory wondered aloud.

"Appearances at parties of course," Tristan replied. "Then there's also making sure you're being seen with the right people, wearing the right clothes - outside of Chilton, of course - making the rounds at the usual hot spots..." his voice drifted off when he noticed the look of discontent on Rory's face.

"Going back to the 'being seen with the right people' thing... So what, I'm just supposed to ignore everyone that isn't pretty or popular?" Rory asked, frowning slightly.

"That's the way life goes at Chilton," he answered.

"But that's just... That's just wrong," Rory sputtered.

"I know," he replied, his eyes dropping to the floor. "But it all comes with the territory of dating me here. They all have certain expectations," he said, his eyes still downcast. There was a hint of sadness in his voice that Rory picked up on.

"It must be lonely," she remarked, her voice soft.

"You get used to it after awhile," he said. "You realize that you don't have any true friends here. They just see you as a cocky playboy... Not the person you really are," he finished, finally looking up and meeting Rory's eyes. She noticed the sadness in his voice reflected the look in his blue eyes.

He looked so vulnerable... She just wanted to reach out and caress his face, let him know that it would all be better. He held her gaze for a moment, before breaking away the eye contact and focusing on a spot to the left of her face.

"That's why I'm glad I have Evelyn," he whispered, before pulling away from Rory.

***

She felt like a fool. For a second there, she forgot that they were only acting as boyfriend and girlfriend. He had a real girlfriend, one that he loved very much.

Rory was realizing that she was doing this for all the wrong reasons. Tristan loved Evelyn. Not her. She bit her lip as Tristan took her hand, and led her down the hall. He nodded towards at various people, the "right people" naturally.

Tears were threatening to pour, but she willed them to stop. She wasn't going to shed tears over him; not over someone that wasn't really hers in the first place.

She wanted to back out of it, but it was too late. All around them, people had begun to accept them as a couple. Like Paris had said, they were the King and Queen of Chilton. As Rory passed by them, she could see one thing that set her and Tristan apart from everyone else that walked through those halls. The look of admiration. It didn't matter what they thought Rory was doing or not doing with Tristan. In the end, they had all seemingly accepted her as his girlfriend.

She just didn't know how much longer she could keep up the farce.

-----------------------------------------------------

I'll try my hardest to crank out another chapter before school starts up again (next week). Hopefully the next chapter will come out way sooner than it took for this one to.


	6. Losing Grip

****

Pairing - Tristan and Rory...

Disclaimer - I wish I owned them, but unfortunately I don't. They belong to Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions and Hofflund/Polone in association with Warner Bros. Television. I'm merely borrowing them. Although I would love to steal Tristan away...

****

Feedback - Please?

****

A/N - So yeah... I realize that I'm the worse when it comes to updating... For the longest time, I didn't even know what direction I wanted to go with this story, which is part of the reason for the lack of updates. But I finally got an idea of where I want to go with this all, so expect updates much more frequently and I promise this story is going somewhere... This is kinda a filler chapter while I start the story going into the direction I want it to go in, so please bear with me.

****

Chapter Six - Losing Grip

"Evelyn Marie Summers! Get into my office now!" an angry voice boomed through the halls.

She had managed to avoid him all weekend, but she knew that her luck had just run out. She had just gotten home from her first day of school at the prestigious Harrison Academy for Girls, and the minute she stepped inside, her father's raging voice filled the mansion. She closed the door, and leaned back against it, her eyes closed. It was obvious from his tone of voice that he had found out about her and Tristan.

Evelyn made her way to her father's office, the echo of her heels clicking against the cool marble floor the only noise heard throughout the house. She tentatively cracked open the door, and found her father sitting behind his large mahogany desk.

"Have a seat," Donald Summers sneered, gesturing towards the chair in front of him. "Exactly what is the meaning of this?" he asked, thrusting a book towards Evelyn.

She looked down at the page the book was opened to. It was her yearbook from her and Tristan's Swiss boarding school, Wessex Academy. And on the open page was a picture of her and Tristan in each others arms, smiling.

"Where'd you get this?" she asked quietly.

"It came in the mail today," Mr. Summers coldly replied. "Care to explain?"

"We... We were dating," Evelyn admitted, although she neglected to admit that they still were seeing each other.

"Were. As in past tense?" Mr. Summers asked. Evelyn nodded. He leaned back in his chair, less enraged. "And exactly when did this end?"

"It was just a fling," Evelyn lied. "Before Christmas break. By New Year's it was over."

"So why would a picture of you two be featured in the yearbook?" he questioned.

"They needed to fill up space? And who better than two of the most prominent students of Wessex Academy?" Evelyn guessed. The scowl on Mr. Summers' face relaxed somewhat, as her answer seemed to satisfy him.

"You understand that you are to never get involved with him again," Mr. Summers said sternly. "Our family has been feuding with his for almost a century now, and we have barely even begun to get back what is rightfully ours," he paused, while Evelyn nodded. "The DuGreys are poison," he spat out.

"Yes father," Evelyn said obediently, her eyes downcast. "Besides, I hear he started dating Rory Gilmore..."

***

Tristan sighed as he opened his locker at the end of the school day. He didn't know whether to rate today as a complete success or an utter failure.

On one hand, people were really beginning to fall for his and Rory's act. His old "friends" gave him pats on the back for finally "making Mary a Magdalene", knowing that was his goal sophomore year. On the other hand, he knew that this was hurting everyone involved - him, Rory and Evelyn, even though neither of them would admit it.

He knew Rory was hurt after their talk at lunch. Tristan did something he swore he'd never do in front of Rory again - he let his guard down. The last time he did that, he was the one that got hurt. And it was a feeling that he never wanted to feel again. So instead, he hurt her by mentioning Evelyn's name. And it also served as a reminder to why he was doing this. Why he was subjecting himself to open up old wounds... And old feelings.

As he slammed his locker shut, a small piece of paper fluttered to the ground. He glanced at it and immediately noticed Rory's handwriting.

__

Tristan -

We need to talk. My meeting at the Franklin ends at 4:00... Could we meet afterwards? It's really important.

- Rory

He glanced down at his watch. Half an hour to go. He was dreading this talk. There was a feeling in the pit of his stomach that somehow knew that things weren't going to get easier.

***

"And that completes assignments," Paris concluded. "Anyone have any questions? No? Good. Now we need to talk about the layout. As editor, I want to keep the traditional layout intact, with a few minor changes. Minor change number one - the need for more space for advertisers. I worked on a sample layout last night... Which I left in my locker," she frowned. "My locker is exactly two minutes away from here, so we will continue in exactly five minutes time. So consider yourself lucky to receive a break. This will not happen often," Paris said sharply, as she set a timer on her watch before walking out of the Franklin.

There was a grumbling among students in the Franklin office. It was only the first meeting of the year, and Paris had already begun playing to the role of slave driver.

"Unbelievable," Madeline declared, as she leaned back in her chair.

"And it's only been half an hour into the job," Rory pointed out. 

"So Rory, I've been meaning to talk to you," Louise said, as she took a seat beside Rory. "You and Tristan, huh?"

"Yeah, dish the dirt," Madeline said eagerly.

"How'd it happen?" Louise asked.

"When did it happen?" Madeline added.

"How far have you gone with him?" Louise asked suggestively, raising an eyebrow.

Rory began to squirm in her seat. She had purposely avoided Madeline and Louise for the majority of the day because she knew that they'd ask her the questions she didn't have an answer to.

"It happened yesterday," Rory admitted. _Well yesterday was when we did decide to begin this charade,_ Rory reasoned in her mind.

"That quickly, huh?" Louise asked, a mischievous glint in her eye.

"No, not that," Rory replied hastily. "That hasn't happened."

"For now," Madeline added, as she inspected her nails. Rory shot her a look.

"What makes you think that?" she questioned.

"Because it's Tristan," Madeline replied, as if the answer were so obvious.

"What she means is that Tristan has this amazing power over women," Louise elaborated. "He's always been charming when it comes to getting what he wants. And he's always had a knack for givng Marys a new rep."

"Summer used to be a Mary, believe it or not," Madeline supplied. Rory raised her eyebrows.

"You're kidding," Rory replied, bewildered.

"Oh it's true. She moved here at the beginning of ninth grade," Louise explained. "One date with Tristan and she was a goner. And what happened sophomore year was just her trying to get revenge on him. The operative word here was trying because it didn't hurt him one bit... Her on the other hand... The Mary Magdalene rep is going to stick with her for a long time to come."

"We were all proud that by the end of sophomore year, you didn't pull a Summer," Madeline said proudly.

"I will definitely not pull a Summer," Rory stated. 

"That's what they all say," Louise murmured under her breath.

"Ooh Louise you've got to see this darling dress," Madeline squealed as she thrust the magazine in Louise's direction. With their attention focused to the latest fashions, while Rory took a moment to lean back into her chair and digest all the information she just received.

She closed her eyes, her mind in shambles. She still didn't know who the real Tristan DuGrey was. First he's the vulnerable guy who never had a chance to open up to anyone. Then she learns about his past - that he was the cocky playboy that she pegged him for the second she met him.

_He's changed_, Rory realized. _He's not the same guy he was when he left. And deep down I wish I could say that I was the one who brought about the change in him. But it wasn't me. _A knot formed in her stomach as the moment of clarity settled upon her. _It was Evelyn._

***

Paris glanced down at her watch. She'd be back at the Franklin office with a minute to spare. She raised her arm in triumph, and as she did, the papers she was holding slipped out of her grasp.

"Damn," she muttered as she bent down to pick them up. As she did, a set of footsteps started wandering down the hall. She was concealed by the row of lockers, and she immediately recognized his voice as he talked on his cell phone.

"Wish I could've been there for you when you talked to him," he sympathized. There was a pause as he listened to what whoever he was talking to on the phone was saying. "No. No real plans tonight. Just waiting for Rory to finish her meeting so we could have a talk," he sighed.

Paris stood up, but kept herself hidden from Tristan's view.

"Yeah sure, that sounds good," he said. "Yeah so I'll call you tonight then. Yeah. Ok. I love you too."

Paris let out a bitter laugh as she walked to the middle of the hallway.

"You know, as angry as I was at Rory, I really thought that you had changed, that you were ready to settle down. But my God, it's only been a day, and already you're cheating on Rory? That's got to be a new record DuGrey," she said.

Tristan whipped around, surprised to see Paris standing there.

"Paris, it's not what you think," he muttered.

"Doesn't matter what I think," Paris said angrily. "But it does matter what Rory thinks." With that, Paris turned on her heel and walked off.

-----------------------------------------------------

Once again, so sorry for the long delay. But since I have nothing to do with my time now, updates should be more frequent.


	7. Stuck

****

Pairing - Tristan and Rory...

Disclaimer - I wish I owned them, but unfortunately I don't. They belong to Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions and Hofflund/Polone in association with Warner Bros. Television. I'm merely borrowing them. Although I would love to steal Tristan away...

****

Feedback - Please? And thank you! 

****

A/N - So obviously the time frame of this fic doesn't fit with the show since as of the S3 finale, Rory graduated from Chilton. So in order for everything for everything to fit in, lets just say that S2 and S3 were all condensed into one super-season (with Rory finishing her junior year at the end of it, but Jess still leaves), and this all begins at the beginning of Rory's senior year.

**Chapter Seven - Stuck**

As Paris angrily walked off, Tristan easily caught up to her and grabbed her arm. He whipped her around so that she faced him, as she angrily tried to shake his hand off her arm.

"It isn't what you think," he muttered again.

"What am I supposed to think?" Paris hissed. "You just said 'I love you' to some random girl on the phone while you're supposedly dating Rory, and 'oh, it's not what I think'? Do you take me for some fool DuGrey?"

"In this case, yes," he said, slightly amused. He watched as Paris looked at him, slightly taken aback that he actually talked back to her. "How could you even possibly know who I was talking to? Did you hear me say her name?" he asked, as Paris glared.

"But your the tone of your voice suggested that -" she began in response to his question, before she was interrupted by his raised hand.

"Please Paris, you're smarter than that. When is my voice ever not sexy?" Tristan asked, a smirk forming on his lips. "But if you must know, I was talking to my mother on the phone," he lied. He watched her expression, as she narrowed her eyes at him.

"Our families are cut from the same cloth, Tristan. We don't express our feelings for one another. So what's with the namby-pamby lovey-dovey act you're suddenly pulling?" she asked suspiciously.

"Maybe ever since my grandfather died, things changed," he said softly, instantly hating himself for using his grandfather's death as an excuse to get his way, for being like his father. But as predicted, Tristan saw the suspicious look on Paris' face soften somewhat.

"You better be telling me the truth, because I don't want to have to lie to her," Paris said slowly. "A lot of things changed when you were away, and believe it or not, I consider Rory to be my best friend. And if you hurt her, you're going to have to answer to me," she said softly.

Tristan finally let go of her arm, and once again she turned around and walked off. As he watched her turn the corner, he felt deflated as he repeated her words in his head.

He knew that she'd be watching them even more closely now. Tristan didn't think it'd be possible, but somehow things had gotten even more complicated.

***

"And that concludes the first meeting of the Franklin," Paris said, as she adjourned the assembled group.

"Thank God," Louise not-so-subtly murmured.

"I do have ears Louise," Paris snapped.

Rory watched their little tirade with an amused expression on her face. The rest of the meeting had dragged on, but she noticed that Paris hadn't been shooting any dirty looks for the remainder of the meeting. Instead, Paris had seemed to be avoiding looking at Rory altogether.

As she packed her books into her already overstuffed backpack, Rory began to go over in her mind what she was going to say to Tristan once she walked out the door. _I know it's only been one day,_ she would begin with, _but I don't think I could keep this up. You see... _And that's about all Rory could come up with during the half hour she didn't listen to Paris talking about layouts. _It's hopeless_, she thought grimly. The only way that she could get out of this was to admit her feelings to him, and watch helplessly as he shot them down. And that was something she wasn't prepared to do.

Rory glanced up from her daydreaming stupor, and noticed that her and Paris were the only two people left in the small office. Except now Paris was looking intently at her, her mouth slightly open as if she wanted to say something.

"Yes?" Rory prompted.

"I... You see..." Paris began. She looked down at the table, as if the fine cherry oak held all the words she wanted to say. "It's nothing," she muttered.

"Are you sure?" Rory asked, a concerned look on her face. Paris was never the type to keep things bottled up inside. She was outspoken, albeit sometimes too outspoken for her own good.

"Don't worry about it," Paris clarified, meeting Rory's eyes for the first time. She quickly grabbed her notebooks and stuffed them into her messenger bag. As she walked out of the room, she could hear Paris murmuring softly, her words barely audible.

"I hope he was telling me the truth... I hope he makes you happy."

***

He glanced down at his watch for the fifth time in a span of twenty seconds. _Jesus, could time go any slower?_ Tristan thought to himself. He settled back into an uncomfortable stance against the cool metal locker once again, as he waited for Rory to exit the Franklin office. Most people had left the office a couple of minutes ago, with the notable exception of Paris, who cast a stony look towards him a second ago as she hurried off, and Rory.

Just as he looked up from his watch, Rory had materialized at the door. He straightened up. As much as he hated to admit it, the sight of her still made his heart beat a little faster, his breathing more shallow. She looked slightly flustered, as she shot him a nervous smile.

"Sorry I'm late," she apologized, as she walked over to him, and gave him a small kiss on the cheek. "Paris, Louise and Madeline are standing at the corner," she whispered, as she pulled away.

"Then they wouldn't believe that I'd let you get away with just a kiss on the cheek," Tristan replied, his voice low. He looked down at Rory, who was biting her lip. 

He slowly leaned down, his lips inches away from hers. She gazed up into his eyes, with an understanding of what was about to occur. Her eyelids fluttered closed, as she felt his warm breath on her face. His hands slowly ran down her back, before finally clasping together at the small of her back. He licked his lips, and joined hers, never anticipating the flood of feelings that suddenly came rushing towards him.

Her lips were as soft as he remembered. He savored the faint sweet taste of her strawberry lip gloss, as he felt his lips part open, then hers. He felt a sigh escape her lips, as he pulled her closer to him. She responded by wrapping her arms around his neck, her hands running through his hair, gently pushing his head closer to hers.

"Rory..." he softly whispered.

***

The second her name escaped his lips, her mind started functioning again. It was like some kind of wake up call.

_You wanted to talk to him, to break off a relationship that isn't even real_, one side of her brain scolded. _But it just feels so right_, the other side told her.

She heard a small moan involuntarily escape from her lips, as he furthered the kiss, pulling her closer to him as he leaned against the bank of lockers.

_It never felt like this with Dean or even with Jess,_ she thought, as she hungrily kissed him back. _These are the lips I was meant to kiss_, she could feel her thoughts fading away, as she began to enjoy the feel of Tristan's arms around her, his lips on top of hers.

_But these are the same lips that kiss Evelyn... And mean it._

The last startling thought jolted her. It was the reasonable side of her brain's final argument. Her eyes snapped open, and she abruptly pulled away from Tristan in mid-kiss.

"We need to talk," Rory said, her eyes downcast. Tristan ran a hand through his hair and let out a deep sigh.

"Yeah, I think we do," he agreed. He looked down the hall and saw that Paris, Madeline and Louise had left sometime during the kiss.

"I know it's only been one day," she began, just like she rehearsed. And then her mind went blank. "And that's about all I got right now," she admitted.

"I know this isn't the best situation," Tristan put in. "I never wanted to put you in this position. I never intended for you to have to lie to your friends, your family about this relationship..." his voice trailed off. Rory was quiet for a moment as she tried to re-gather her thoughts. 

But at the moment, the only thing that consumed her mind was that kiss, and how for one perfect moment, she was able to forget everything that had happened between them and focus on her feelings for him. The truth was that she hated the situation, yet she couldn't help but be curious. She wanted to feel close to him, she wanted to see what could have been if she hadn't made the stupid mistake of uttering the words "Tristan? I hate him." And that kiss provided her with the answer. The only problem was that Rory didn't know how Tristan felt about that kiss, or if he even felt anything at all. Or was he just a really good actor? As she stood across from him, all the words she wanted to say were stuck on the tip of her tongue. Her thoughts swirled around in her mind, poking at her from all angles.

"That kiss," she suddenly blurted out. She looked Tristan in the eye. "Did it mean something to you?"

***

His eyes wandered over to a spot to the left of Rory's shoulder as she watched his reaction carefully. He knew she was trying to decipher the look in his eyes. But at the moment, they were blank, sort of how he was feeling at the moment.

That kiss. He had spent countless nights in the past wondering what it'd be like to kiss Rory Gilmore again. And as amazing at it was, in reality, he had a girlfriend he needed to think about. All the old feelings he had for Rory began to resurface with that kiss, and threatened to combat with the feelings he had for Evelyn. He felt as if there was an internal struggle with his heart - one who felt guilty for letting down the wall he built up against his feelings for Rory, and one that wanted to tell her what she wanted to hear, although he wasn't quite sure what that was either.

He opened his mouth, still unsure of what he would say. But just as he found his voice, the sound of heavy footsteps down the hall interrupted him. Both Tristan and Rory turned around, to find some random guy walking down the hall.

Tristan turned back to face Rory, but she was still gaping at the guy walking closer and closer to them. Her eyes widened slightly, she mumbled something so quietly that Tristan wasn't even sure if he heard her right.

"Jess."


	8. Are You Happy Now

****

Pairing - Tristan and Rory...

Disclaimer - I wish I owned them, but unfortunately I don't. They belong to Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions and Hofflund/Polone in association with Warner Bros. Television. I'm merely borrowing them. Although I would love to steal Tristan away...

****

Feedback - Please? And thank you! 

****

A/N - Bah. Writers block. Sorry (in advance) if this chapter sucks.

**

Chapter Eight - Are You Happy Now

**

She could hear her heart pounding in her ears. The only other sound in the deserted hallway as the squeaky thumping of Jess' shoes as he continued to walk down the hall.

He looked the same as the last time she saw him, albeit he gained a tan from wherever he came back from. He looked both pensive and sullen, as his eyes kept flickering towards a spot to the left of Rory's shoulder. She didn't even realize that Tristan was standing behind her, his hand clamped down protectively on her shoulder.

It seemed like an eternity before he was finally standing a few feet away from her, and she finally found her voice.

"You're back."

Rory didn't even know why she felt the need to state the obvious. But she was proud of the fact that she kept her voice calm and controlled, something she never thought would be possible when she thought back to how she felt over the past summer.

"I'm back," Jess agreed. His eyes were still locked in an steely gaze with Tristan, while Rory became aware of his presence behind her.

"Could you give us a couple of minutes?" Rory asked Tristan quietly, turning her head slightly to face him.

"I'll meet you in the parking lot," he replied, releasing the grip on her shoulder. He shot one last angry look at Jess, before walking down the corridor. Rory watched as he disappeared around the corner, before turning to face Jess again.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, with a sigh. He shrugged. "Fine, be that way. Why come all the way down to my school of all places, if you don't even have anything to say to me?"

"You're my girlfriend. It seemed like the thing to do," he responded despondently. Rory let out a bitter laugh.

"Girlfriend? You still think of me as your girlfriend after everything that has happened?" she asked incredulously.

"We didn't technically break up," Jess pointed out, as he suddenly seemed deeply fascinated with the floor.

"You leaving for three months without saying goodbye pretty much implies a break up," Rory retorted. Her anger subsided somewhat, as the words she had imagined herself saying to him over the summer were on the verge of spilling out.

"You know I could have loved you," she began quietly, as his head snapped up. "If you just trusted me enough to tell me that you were failing, I would have gladly helped you out. I would have taken time out of my schedule to help you with your homework or some extra credit assignment. I would have done the whole girlfriend bit." Rory said, her voice gaining strength as she talked. "But you didn't trust me Jess. And that's why things turned out like this. And I don't think I'll ever be able to go back to where we used to be... We could be friends," she offered lamely.

"Friends?" he repeated. "We could never just be friends, Rory."

"That's all I have to offer," she shrugged. "Things changed when you were gone... My feelings for you..." her voice drifted off, as she searched for the words. "They don't even begin to compare to what I feel for Tristan," she finished in a whisper.

***

"You know, I just can't really picture you two together," Tristan said, as Rory approached him in the parking lot. He was leaning against the trunk of his Jaguar, which was the only car left sitting in the parking lot.

"It wasn't one of my finer moments," Rory admitted, as she took a seat on the trunk. "But for awhile things were good... Really good... Until he decided to leave without saying goodbye..." she said, her voice trailing off.

"So I'm a little bit curious," Tristan said, trying to keep the conversation somewhat upbeat. "How did you end up together anyways?" 

A faint smile formed on Rory's lips as she thought back to how she met him. She hadn't realized it before, but the burden that she ignored for the past few months was finally lifted. She had just gotten the closure she needed from Jess.

"He came live with his uncle Luke. He was from New York, so naturally everyone in Stars Hollow thought he was trouble," she said, with a short laugh. "And I guess to a certain extent he was. But he was just different. I don't know how to explain it, but he just... He made me see things differently."

" Like your feelings for Dean?" Tristan asked darkly.

"Yes. I... I," she trailed off, not really knowing how to approach the Dean subject with him. After a moment, she spoke up again. "So how did you and Evelyn end up together?"

"You know, it's kind of an embarrassing story, to tell you the truth," Tristan said, as he let out a chuckle at the memory.

"You know that just makes me all the more curious," Rory replied, not realizing that her mouth was twisting into the fake wistful smile that occurred whenever Tristan talked about Evelyn. She didn't even know why she felt the need to ask him that question in the first place. There was just some sort of sick side of her that needed to know everything. Some part of her that just craved all the angst.

"She sort of started out as my roommate in the dorms," Tristan admitted. "Somewhere along the way, they made a mistake when I registered, and they had me down as Trista DuGrey," he explained. Rory laughed as Tristan scowled. "It's not that funny," he said. "It took about a week to sort out."

"Anyways," he continued. "Even though we knew each other somewhat from the country club, we had never really gotten to know each other since our families have had this long standing feud over business spanning three generations," he explained, rolling his eyes. "So it turned out we had a lot in common and we became pretty good friends. I always knew she wanted more, but..." he trailed off. "I wasn't the long term commitment guy. I never was. Plus there was all those unresolved feelings I had for -" Tristan abruptly stopped what he was saying, and looked down at the ground.

She felt the blood rush to her ears. She knew what he was going to say. The unresolved feelings that he had for her. It was the first time since he came back to Hartford that he actually acknowledged his feelings for her.

"We should probably get going," Tristan began, as he walked over to the passenger side of his car and opened it for Rory. "I don't want to make you late for dinner with your grandparents -"

"Stop," Rory interrupted him. She got off her seat, and closed the door he had just opened for her. "We can't do this any longer. I can't do this any longer."

She looked into his questioning eyes, knowing that it was time to lay it all out into the open.

"How long do you expect me to ignore everything you wrote in that letter?"

***

"Longer than this," Tristan admitted. He felt his body sag in defeat. Tristan didn't want to answer her now. He wanted to go home, lie down on his comfy bed, and think everything through before he answered her. But he knew that was not an option at the moment. He tried to distract her by opening the door she had just closed.

"I need to know how you feel about me now," Rory pressed. She was being relentless, not letting the opportunity pass her by like it had before. She slammed the car door shut once again..

"It's complicated," he replied, growing frustrated at his inability to explain his own feelings. He tried one more time to get her to drop things, by opening his car door again.

"Then uncomplicate it for me," Rory persisted. She shut the door again, this time holding her hand firmly against it.

"Do you think this is easy for me?" Tristan snapped. "It would've been much more easier to get through this if I thought I still hated you." Rory was taken aback slightly, her blue eyes wide open in shock. 

"So where do your feelings stand for me now?" she asked quietly. Tristan took a deep breath, as he thought about how he would respond.

"The letter pretty much described how I felt about you at the time," he began. "But when I got away from you, from here... When I really thought about it, it was more like I liked the dream that I built of you, if that makes any sense," he paused, struggling to find the right words to say. "The thing was, we never even really knew each other well enough to form the basis for a relationship. I had resorted to third grade tactics, and you basically ignored me."

"You could have told me how you really felt," Rory pointed out.

"Why, so you could of had the satisfaction of shooting me down?" Tristan retorted. 

"Why do you naturally assume these things?" she asked him, staring pointedly at Tristan. He shrugged.

"Look, I know there's something between us, no matter how hard we choose to ignore it. There's always going to be this insane chemistry between us, maybe a deeper connection if we ever got the chance to know each other better than this," Tristan stated.

"If we could just start over, maybe start out as friends - ," Rory suggested.

"We can never be just friends," Tristan interrupted. "The other thing about us, Rory, is that we're constantly straddling the thin line between love and hate. There's no middle ground between us."

His words came out harsher than he intended, and the look on Rory's face reflected that. As his words slowly sunk into her, a distant look formed in her eyes. She avoided his gaze by staring down at her shoes.

Tristan closed his eyes, and exhaled, knowing that even if she couldn't admit it, she knew that it was true. When he opened his eyes, she was staring up at him, her eyes wide open, her face reading like an open book. She was vulnerable and hurting, and there was nothing he could do to change that. He knew what she wanted to hear, and that wasn't it.

"Maybe it'd be better if we ended our little arrangement," Tristan said quietly.

"It's only been a day," Rory protested.

"But look at all that's happened in today - people are beginning to think the worst about you because you're with me, Paris is upset with you, she almost caught me talking to Evelyn, and your ex-boyfriend showed up," Tristan pointed out.

"But what about your father?" Rory interjected.

"I'll make something up," he shrugged.

"It doesn't have to be like this," she pleaded, her voice wavering slightly. 

"I know," he said simply. "But the longer we continue this charade, the more I question whether or not I could trust myself with you," he whispered, his voice barely audible.

"And Evelyn doesn't deserve that."


End file.
